Mike McClary
Dispatches from Scottsdale, Ariz., and elsewhere.
My first car, the 1974 Dodge Dart. After reading that Dodge is resurrecting the Dart, I scrambled to find a photo somewhere — anywhere — of the ‘74 Dodge Dart Swinger I inherited from my grandma.
Good times.
One would think that given how the American consumer is bludgeoned with the words “green” and “sustainability,” online retailers would make smarter choices when it comes to packaging.
Imagine my surprise when my Cole Haan black leather belt arrived on Friday, cocooned in enough paper to claim a small forest. For a 45.5” by 1.25” belt, Zappos packed it in a 10” x 6” x 5” box and wrapped it in 11’, 10” of brown parchment.
Talk about overkill. I’ve had hard drives delivered in smaller boxes with less cushioning.
Out-of-Office Message Goodness
In the spirit of wasting time, I captured some of the highlights from the slew of out of office messages I received this week from work. Any emphasis is from the original. All typos intact:
Hello, Thank you for your email. I will be out of the office from November 23rd to November 28th to observe the holiday.
***
I will be out of the office until March.
***
Hello and thank you for your email. Today is Thursday, December 22nd and I am out of the office for the holidays with limited access to email and voicemail. I will be back on Tuesday, January 3rd and will reply to your email immediately.
***
Hello, thank you for your email. I am currently away from my desk until Tuesday, January 10th. I will return all voicemails and emails in the order that they are received. Thank you very much for your understanding and have a beautiful day.
***
Hello and sorry I missed you! I will be out of the office beginning Thursday, December 22nd and will return Tuesday, January 3rd.
***
I apologize I am unable to return your correspondence.
***
Thank you for your email. I will be out of the office Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 thru Monday, January 3rd. Your email will be returned in the order received.
If you require immidate assistance, please contact …
***
I am currently out of the office and will have limited acces to my email.
***
Thank you for your email. I am out of the office Wednesday, October 12th and will return emails in the order they are received upon my return on Thursday, October 13th.
